The 25 Wackiest Motorcycles Of All Time

Oh, ok… I admit it. I’m a trekkie… live long and prosper and all that stuff. But this TOS Enterprise bike has me lusting to put on my pointy ears, Klingon forehead ridges and a freshly starched TNG Captain’s uniform (later season) and go where no man or no one or whatever has gone before!

48 cylinders anyone? And you thought that a GoldWing, 1300 Voyager, CBX or even a Benelli Six was excessive! I would sure hate to have to fill this thing up at the local gas station at $4.50 a gallon!

Practice Safe Bike! I can come up with at least three or four dozen punchlines for this, but I think that since it’s a family Hub, I’ll leave it alone….

No, this wasn’t a sportbike that hit a wall. This 19 year old from Toronto took a Segway, put two wheels and an abbreviated motorcycle chassis and body on it, and ended up with a remarkably rideable “something!”

Not to be outdone by the Canuck kid, why don’t we just take one really humongous wheel and stick the engine and the rider right inside? It must have really been a great idea by the ninth or tenth beer.

Does this thing actually move? Is it rideable? Am I still sane?

“But mommy… Little Billy down the street just got a Big Wheel and I want one just like his… with a Hemi V8!”

Did somebody say “Big Wheel”? This is the perfect motocrosser for those times when you want to crush more sedans than Bigfoot.

Hey goofus! You wouldn’t have to have such a weird look on your face if you weren’t relying on those little training wheels!

All the readers who think that these maxi-motorcycles are built by guys who are making up for an insufficiency somewhere else shout “Teeny Weenie!” Oh… yeah… sorry… family Hub…

OK, this homemade tractor bike does qualify the rider for the Gold Medal in the Oversized Completely Stupid Motorcycle category!

Yes, someone actually did spend untold thousands of dollars to build a Kawasaki Ninja with triangular roller track things on it. If it worked it would certainly give you some serious traction! The tire contact patch on this contraption is likely 100 times larger than on your bike!

“Yeah… it’s a slow day here at Chrysler Research & Development. We can’t sell our SUVs and trucks because it seems no one in the head office figured that once gasoline went over $4 a gallon customers would run away screaming from big engines… so why don’t we pull a V-10 out of a Viper and stick it in a motorcycle! Nobody wants to buy cars or trucks with V-10s, so maybe they’ll buy the engine in a bike!”

Chrysler R&D? Who needs them! I’ll just take a wimpy little Boss Hoss, throw out that puny V8 and stick a Viper V-10 in it! Let’s see what the chicks down at the high school think of this ride!

This lady once rode a Honda 70 scooter to work and then her friends told her that bigger was better and she just didn’t know when to stop!

$24,349.00 for a new loaded Gold Wing? What do you think I’m made of money? Heck no, dude. I’ve got this old rusty Fargo pickup truck in the backyard, some old tractor parts and a welding torch and I’ll show you how I can slap together a tourer that will out Wing the Gold Wing and cost me… maybe… 20 bucks!

Watta is wronga witha you, are you somea kinda peasant? Get your lousya littlea MV Agusta outta my facea! I have a Ferrari V-8 ina my motorcyclea!

Ferrari motorcycles? I eat Ferrari motorcycles for breakfast! Let’s see them mess with a jet engine on a bike. I won’t just leave them in my dust, my afterburner will charbroil them to a nice brown crisp!

Double your pleasure, double your fun? Whatever you can say as to what those two ladies are doing on a motorcycle owned by such a charming, gracious gentleman, you do have to admit that the second rear wheel could be an inspired touch of genius. Not only does it act as a wheelie bar, but it increases the bike’s rubber contact patch by 50% without affecting cornering ability. Not a bad idea!

Do you think that this whole aerodynamics thing has been taken just a touch too far? This is about as close as you can get to a form-fitting motorcycle!

No, I’m not really sure as to how he steers this Morticiacycle either! The best I can figure is that those tiny handlebars have some sort of linkage that goes straight down to the base of that front end extension girder and that very tiny chromed rod acts on some sort of cam to turn the front wheel. I know one thing. I couldn’t ride it for more than 100 feet without getting gravel rash!

Yes, radial engines were a great idea in World War II aircraft, however in a 21st century chopper, they are a bit… er… strange.

“Honey, don’t worry. We can get rid of the gas-guzzling eight seater minivan and get a motorcycle that can still take us and our six kids everywhere we want to go!”

“And honey, we can get rid of that huge diesel pusher motor home too. To heck with enormous Winnebagos! We can enjoy all the comforts of home as we ride in the wind on the open road on our new motorhomecycle!”

“Goldurnit! I said I want an ATC that won’t sink down into the mud! Do I have to go out and make one myself???”