Audo

25 Funny Quotes About Life

admin — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:32:59 +0000

1. “Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.” - Lou Erickso

2. “Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.” - Carl Sandburg

3. “Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.” - Christopher Isherwood

4. “Life is painful, nasty and short… in my case it has only been painful and nasty.” - Djuna Barnes

5. “Personally, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?” - Bob Monkhouse

6. “Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.” - Woody Allen

7. “Life… is like a grapefruit. It’s orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.” - Douglas Adams

8. “Life is as tedious as a twice-told tale vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.” - William Shakespeare

10. “Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent.” - R. D.Laing

11. “I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.” - Charles Schulz

12. “My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.” – Cary Grant

13. “Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.” - Fran Lebowitz

14. “I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.” – Jack Handy

15. “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” - Robert Frost

16. “Life is just one damned thing after another.” - Erbert Hubbard

17. “Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.” - Woody Allen

18. “Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.” - Oscar Wilde

19. “Life is rather like a tin of sardines – we’re all of us looking for the key.” - Alan Bennett

20. “Now there is one outstandingly important fact regarding Spaceship Earth, and that is that no instruction book came with it.” - Buckminster Fuller

21. “If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.” - Isaac Asimov

22. “Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” - Tom Lehrer

23. “Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.” - Samuel Butler

24. “My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other.” - Josh Billings

25. “The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.” - John Barrymore

Top 10: Most beautiful Cars In The World

admin — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:25:54 +0000

Introduction

Over the last 100 years, car manufacturers have designed some amazing cars, both beautiful and hideous. It’s hard to agree on a list of the most beautiful cars ever produced because inevitably personal taste comes into it.

However, the guys and girls over at Classic and Sports Car Magazine have recently carried out a survey to draw up a conclusive top 10 most beautiful cars. A 20 strong group of industry giants submitted 3 of their favourite, before narrowing it down to just 10.These included:

Peter Stevens (McLaren F1), Giorgetto Giugiaro (VW Golf, Lotus Esprit), Ian Callum (Jaguar), Marcello Gandini (Lancia Stratos, Lamborghini Countach), Patrick Le Quement (Renault), Martin Smith (Ford)

1962 Lotus Elite = 4th

See all 10 photos

1962 Lotus Elite = 4th

The beautiful and small Elite was the result of Colin Chapman’s (founder of Lotus) obsession with low weights of cars. Not only was the body constructed from fiberglass, but so was the chassis in a similar method to modern day carbon fibre hypercars.

There were problems, fibreglass not being as strong as carbon fibre, quiet a few were horribly damaged. Yet the small 75bhp engine, low weight and efficient aerodynamics made this a great little car and is joint 4th in the top 10.

1972 Lotus Elan = 4th

The Elan followed on from the (above) Elite, again it was made from fibreglass, yet this time had a steel backbone to add strength and rigidity. Annoying some purist designers saying it wasn’t in the Elite style. Yet the Elan was far more popular and safer.

The minimalist design, sweeping curves and ‘before it’s time’ pop up head lights make this a stunning little British sports car. 20 years later Mazda based their MX5 on the Elan, which has since gone on to be one of the most popular sports cars.

1968 Lamborghini Miura = 4th

A simply stunning car. It was British motoring journalist LJK Setright that referred to this car as a “supercar” which is where it all started. This is the FIRST supercar! Marcello Gandini who was on the judging panel for this list was also the chief designer of the Muira.

Designed by Lamborghini to prove a point to Ferrari who at the time said all sports cars should be front engined-rear wheel drive, the Muira was a mid engined V12 monster. According to many, non have come close to replicating this car’s striking lines.

1971 Jaguar E-Type = 4th

For such a fast and powerful car, the Jaguar E Type is seen as many as a feminine design, with its sleek lines and beautiful stance. Some even refer to it as feline.

Styled around the aerodynamic of the D Type racers of the time, the E Type was a road friendly race car. It was technologically advanced for its time, yet the classic lines have remained as beautiful as ever.

1961 Ferrari 250 GT SWB = 4th

When you think of beautiful cars, you can’t forget the Ferrari’s! This is the first of 3, and one of 2 from the 250 model. The GT SWB (Short Wheel Base) was described by Jaguar’s Ian Cullen as “a blend of beauty and aggression. I just drool over them and can draw them with my eyes closed.”(obviously a fan)

Ferrari only ever made 165 of the GT SWB, and as a result the price is huge! Perfect examples will sell for upwards of $4mil when they come up for auction, which is not that often. The California Spyder version of the GT SWB became the most expensive car ever in May 2008 when it sold for a whopping $10.9 million to British Radio DJ Chris Evans.

1963 Ferrari 250 GT Lusso = 4th

The Lusso was the final version of the 250 model. It kept some of the aggressive racing lines of the SWB racer (above) yet some of the lines were smoothed out to give a more relaxing look. It was more of a Grand Tourer car, so was less aggressive in the driving too.

Pininfarina helped design this car leaving in the racing pedigree of Ferrari, yet the softer lines added some character to this stunning car. The Lusso pictured above was once owned by car nut Steve McQueen before his death.

1937 Cord 810/812 = 4th

The less well known Cord 810/812 series from the 1930’s. It was way ahead of it’s time with it’s futuristic lines, Miura designer Marcello Gandini saying “it was an impressive design for the 1930s with solutions that would be seen on cars 20 years later.”

Using a V8 in front wheel drive was unheard of in the 30’s, as well as hand cranked pop up head lights and a retractable roof. Sadly only 3000 of the 810 and supercharged 812’s were ever produced.

1967 Ferrari 275GTB/4 Berlinetta = 2nd

Like the 250 GT Lusso, the 275 GTB/4 Berlinetta was a Grand Tourer. Designed to be comfy over long distances, but with serious power and speed if you needed it derived from Ferrari race cars.

Taking it’s most basic lines from the classic 250 GTO, it was obviously aggressive, yet beautiful in it. A technological masterpiece, in a beautiful skin. “It was a fast as it was beautiful.”

1952 Jaguar XK120 = 2nd

It seems an age away from it’s 10 year younger E Type brother, but the XK120 is simply stunning. Jaguar’s first post war sports car, this captured the hearts of many after many years of depressing war. It had a simply look, yet the lines made for a fun drive.

It was, like all the cars in the list, technogically marvelous, he straight six became a solid engine for Jaguar for years to come. The style of the long bonnet and short rear end also did well for Jaguar (see E Type) and this car set them up nicely for 50 years of amazing cars.

1968 Citroen DS 1st

1958 Citroen DS 1st

Are you a little surprised that a Citroen would be number 1? To those who know cars, it won’t have been as the French makers 50’s classic is regarded as one of the finest cars ever made.

“Impossible to imitate,” Giorgetto Giugiaro

“A few people may have thought of all of these beautiful ideas but it was real bravery to implement them in one car,” Marcello Gandini

“I have always considered the fact this car was first drawn in 1955 to be extraordinary.” Peter Stevens

What more do you need to say? These are some of the most regarded car designers of the last 50 years, and they love the Citroen DS. It seems so do Citroen, as in early 2009, they announced the name DS will be revived for a new range. Let’s hope there as beautiful as the original.

How To Use Google

admin — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:23:14 +0000

Using Google

Google for those who’ve lived in a cave for the past vague existence of their life is the top search engine which takes a good percentage of search engine traffic, mainly because they have dominated the Internet with some really good partnerships and tools that they offer Internet users for free.

Using Google is just like any other search engine, you just type what you want to search for in the browser bar and quite often typing in a long sentence or a specific search result to find what you need to find is the way to do it, the browser bar has been updated with a search based feature which when you start to type in your search terms, ten top ten results appear in a selector box under your browser search bar for the search term you are entering in to it, which is very useful if you need to find topics that are popular to write about related to your own interests.

When you sign up for a free google account, you get lots of tools and features that compliment each other and will actually help you to increase your websites exposure in the online world, one of the best free tools is your webmaster tools which you need to copy and paste a bit of code into your site to measure and gain some important data about your site, but you knew that right and Google Analytics which provides the best stats all for free with very detailed stats that track the important stuff, but how do you really use Google?

Well first you’ve got to have a working knowledge of writing some good content on a website that you own or don’t, it’s up to you how much effort you want to put in, so getting your content up to scratch is your first priority and then it’s about getting your work out there and usually it’s about getting traffic to your website for your site to be ranked in the search results, if of course you have optimized your websites pages properly with accurate keywords that reflect the true content on your site.

Back linking is just a simple term that means links from other sites that point to your main site and if you increase the relevancy with the keyword anchor text links in as many well ranked or well liked and respected sites for the purposes of back linking, then your site will have a reasonable chance of moderate success with traffic, but you have to be consistent with your approach and to never slack off with any type of marketing, especially when it comes to Google.

The thing with Google is that it doesn’t release the all important information of specific algorythms, as that would make it easy for the spammers to game the system, instead it’s just about learning enough about how google works and how they index your webpages to make any success by using Google.

Here’s a great tip from a member who shows you how to filter your own internal traffic from your sites with Google Analytics, haven’t tried it yet, but others seem to think it’s a good thing to try. Google anayltics Filtering as this separates your own visits from the stats, making them more true of the actual visits apparently.

Using Google just takes a little bit of self study and seeing what everything else does and how it relates to each other, especially looking at the adwords keyword tool in relation to the actual search results, this provides enough information to start writing new content, use Google trends if you have to, but I don’t as I find it just tedious to try and write about current hot topics that may disappear in a week.

Google isn’t rocket science, but it can be a time consuming experience too, so make yourself some flasks of coffee and some packed lunch and wear an anorak if you have to and start studying Google in every way you can.

Repossessed Cars For Sale

admin — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 07:42:53 +0000

Did you know that you could save money buying repossessed cars for sale? Yes, it’s true! There are a few things to consider when looking for repossessed vehicles for sale to ensure that they are right for you – whether you prefer repo cars or repo trucks.

First, you should be comfortable with the idea of owing a used or pre-owned vehicle. There are people who will only purchase new cars because they crave the status of “new.” Repossessed cars, otherwise known as “repo cars”, are part of the used car market. The previous owner was unable to continue making payments on the car loan so the lender had no other option except to repossess, or take away, the car which served as collateral for the loan. A pre-owned car does not have to have a bad connotation as there are perfectly well maintained used cars out there.

Second, you should enjoy saving money. You should understand that lenders, which in this case are typically banks, credit unions, financing companies, and other financial institutions, are not in the business of buying and selling cars. They are in the business of lending money and profiting from the interest accrued on the car loans. Repossessing vehicles is the last thing they want to do as there are administrative costs associated with storing and selling the vehicles. Therefore, it is in their best interest to sell the repo cars as soon as possible to recover the outstanding car debt. As such, repo cars may be offered at a discount or below book value in some cases. There is a very good chance that you can find a good car at an affordable price – often a better deal than if you bought from a dealership or private sale.

Third, you should know where to look for repo cars for sale. Knowing where to find repossessed cars for sale is public information, though it is thought that only the used car dealers are privy to this knowledge. Call or visit your local financial institutions to find out if they have repossessed vehicles on their books they wish to sell. If they have outsourced the sales process to an auction company, they will re-direct you to the auction house. Scan your local newspapers for announcements on upcoming repo car auctions open to the public. The Internet has a wealth of information on everything and searching for information on repossessed cars for sale online is no exception. There are websites that provide such information, just ensure the website is reputable.

Fourth, you should have some car knowledge in order to know a good deal when you see one. Educate yourself on prices of certain makes and models to avoid paying more than you need to – remember, you are looking for a great deal. It is recommended that you check out used car price guidebooks such as NADA Guides and Kelley Blue Book. Know how to, or bring along a friend or mechanic whom knows how to, perform a proper car inspection to minimize the risk of buying a money pit. You want to ensure that you pick out the best repo cars for sale.

Owning a car provides us with conveniences and freedom. However, given that cars do not appreciate in value, it is more prudent to search for and purchase a good used car to save money. One of the best ways to save money on used cars is to seek repossessed cars for sale. Happy shopping!

Halo 3 Cheats

admin — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 20:25:21 +0000

Halo 3

Halo 3 is a first person shooter video game developed by Bungie Studios exclusively for Xbox 360. The game is the third in the Halo series and ends the story. The series started with Halo: Combat Evolvedto continue with Halo 2.

The game can be played on multi-play with as few as two people or as many as four. You can, also, play Halo 3 on Xbox Live. Some of the features on Halo 3 are best played with more than one player.

The basic story centers on an interstellar war between the United Nations Space Command of the 26th century and a collection of alien races, which compose the Covenant. The player assumes the role of the Master Chief as he defends humanity. The Master Chief is assisted by human Marines and the Covenant Elites.

Halo 3 features both new and old vehicles, weapons, and game play in order to bring a close to the Human- Covenant War. But, this Halo trilogy can have a few more complications than the other two. There hidden skulls, armor unlockables, terminals, the Katana, and achievements that you must overcome in order to beat the game 100%.

Here you will find cheats and codes to turn on or off certain effects (visibility of weapon, pan-cam, coordinates, and camera mode), armor permutation unlockables, terminals, katana, and achievements.

Basic Halo 3 Cheats

The following cheats can be performed during a local match or replay only modes. You must simultaneously PRESS & HOLD the following buttons for at least 3 seconds in order to turn the effect on or off.

LB/ RB – Left/Right Bumper

LS/ RS – Click in on Left/Right Analog Stick

Toggle Hide Weapon: LB + RB + LS + A + Down [D-Pad]

Toggle Pan-Cam/Normal while Showing coordinates is enabled: [Hold LS + RS] Press Left on D-Pad

Toggle Show Coordinates/Camera Mode: LB + RB + LS + A + Up [D-Pad]

Halo 3: Armor Unlockables

Using ‘S’ and ‘E’ to decipher which mode you will be in- Spartan or Elite Mode.

Heads:

(E) Ascetic: Unlock “Steppin’ Razor” Achievement

(E) Flight: Complete Campaign mode on Heroic mode

(S) EOD: Complete finish Campaign mode on Legendary

(E) Commando: Unlock “Overkill” Achievements

(S) EVA: Complete Campaign mode on Normal

(S) Mark V: Unlock “UNSC Spartan” Achievement

(S) ODST: Unlock “Spartan Graduate” Achievement

(S) Rogue: Unlock “Spartan Officer” Achievement

(S) Scout: Unlock “Used Car Salesman” Achievement

(S) Security: Earn at least 1,000 Gamer score points

Body:

(E) Ascetic: unlock “Up Close and Personal” Achievement

(E) Commando: Unlock “Triple Kill” Achievement

(E) Flight: Complete Tsavo Highway on Heroic or Legendary

(S) EOD: Complete Tsavo Highway on Legendary

(S) EVA: Complete Tsavo Highway on at least Normal mode

(S) Scout: Unlock “Too Close to the Sun” Achievement

Shoulders:

(E) Ascetic: Unlock “Overkill” Achievement

(E) Commando: Unlock “Killing Frenzy” Achievement

(E) Flight: Complete Ark mission on either Heroic or Legendary mode

(S) EOD: Complete Ark mission on Legendary

(S) EVA: Complete Ark mission on at least Normal

(S) Scout: Unlock “We’re in for Some Chop” Achievement

(S) Security: Earn at least 250 Gamer score points

Halo 3: The 7 Terminals

There are seven terminals that you must enter. There are three terminals in the Ark Mission, three in the Covenant, and one in Halo. In order to find the terminals, you can follow the following instructions and directions.

The Ark:

1. At the start of the mission, enter the first building, take the first left into another doorway. Now, you should be in a curved corridor. The terminal is on the inside.

2. Once you’ve activated the bridge to let your comrades over the gap, turn around all the way and you should see the terminal, but it will not open until you’ve activated the bridge.

3. In the third building after defeating the scarab, kill the group of sleeping covenant, then follow the corridor downwards. Once you reach a door in front that is locked, immediately on the left there’s an open door. Go through and walk straight off, then do a 180 to find a secret room. It is in there.

The Covenant:

4. When you are in the first tower, stand on the lift. Turn so that you are facing the access panel. Turn to your left. Jump over, and he terminal is right there.

5. Once you have landed the hornet on the second tower, get out to walk towards the entrance. When you see the locked door, turn around where you will find the terminal in front of you.

6. When you are in the third tower, stand on the lift. Turn so that you are facing the access panel and turn to the right. When you jump over, the terminal will be there.

Halo:

7. After you have reached the end of the first cave, get as close to the right wall as you can, so that you will see a building. Jump up on the walkway and and turn left when you’re inside. The terminal will be in front of you.

Halo 3 Katana

Katana is unlocked only once you have completed all Achievements and find all of the skulls, which means that you have 1000 out of 1000.

Things To Do In Halo 3

Halo 3: Achievements

Complete the following achievements in order to unlock Xbox Live Gamer Score points.

Landfall (20pts): You must finish the 1st mission of the Campaign on any mode

Holdout (20pts): You must finish the 2nd mission of the Campaign on any mode

The Road (20pts): You must first finish the 3rd mission of the Campaign on any mode

Assault (30pts): You must finish the 4th mission of the Campaign on any mode

Cleansing (30pts): You must finish the 5th mission of the Campaign on any mode

Refuge (30pts): You must first finish the 6th mission of the Campaign on any mode

Last Stand (40pts): You must finish the 7th mission of the Campaign on any mode

The Key (40pts): You must finish the 8th mission of the Campaign on any mode

Return (50pts): You must finish the last mission of the Campaign on any mode

Campaign Complete: Normal, Heroic, Legendary (125pts each): Finish the Campaign on the each mode

Iron (10pts): You must find and claim the skull when playing on any mode

Black Eye (10pts): You must find and claim the skull when playing any mode

Tough Luck (10pts): You must find and claim this skull when playing on any mode

Catch (10pts): Claim the skull on any mode

Fog (10pts): Claim the skull on any difficulty

Famine (10pts): Claim the skull on any mode

Thunderstorm (10pts): Claim the skull on any mode

Tilt (10pts): Claim the skull on any mode

Mythic (10pts): Claim the skull on any mode

Graduate (10pts): You must either earn 5 EXP or you must finish 10games to complete requirements for basic training online

UNSC Spartan (15pts): You must earn your Sergeant rating in order to be recognized as a true Spartan while online

Spartan Officer (25pts): You must advance to the Spartan Officer ranks while you are playing online

Two for One(5pts): You must score a Double Kill with a single Spartan laser shot in a ranked free for all play list while you’re playing online

Too Close to the Sun (5pts): You must destroy an enemy Banshee with the Spartan laser or missile pod in a ranked play list or in Campaign.

Triple Kill(5pts): You must kill 3 enemies within 4 seconds of one another in a ranked free for all play list when playing online

Overkill(5pts): You must kill 4 enemies within 4 seconds of each other in a ranked free for all play list when online

Lee R Wilson Memorial(5pts): Score 5 grenade sticks in any ranked free for all play list when playing the game online

We’re in for some Chop (5pts): You must destroy an enemy vehicle with equipment in a ranked play list or in campaign

Killing Frenzy(5pts): You must kill 10 enemies without dying in any ranked free for all play list when playing a mission online

Steppin’ Razor(5pts): Score a Triple Kill with the sword in a ranked free for all play list when playing a mission online

Mongoose Mowdown(5pts): You must splatter an enemy with the mongoose in a ranked free for all play list when playing online

Up Close and Personal(5pts): You must kill 5 enemies by melee or assassination in a ranked free for all play list when playing your mission online

Fear the Pink Mist(5pts): You must kill at least 5 enemies with the needler in a ranked free for all play list or in campaign

Headshot Honcho(5pts): You must kill at least 10 enemies with headshots in a ranked free for all play list or in campaign

Used Car Salesman (5pts): You must destroy a vehicle that has three enemies in it in a ranked play list or in campaign.

Marathon Man (40pts): You must locate and access all of the Terminals in the Campaign

MVP (5pts): You must earn the MVP in any ranked play list when playing the game online

Maybe Next Time Buddy (5pts): You must board the same vehicle within 10 seconds after being boarded in any free for all play list when competing online

Guerilla, Demon, Cavalier, Askar, Exterminator, Ranger, Vanguard, Orpheus, Reclaimer (10pts each): You must score over 15,000 points in the Campaign meta-game on the each mission in that order (Guerilla-First; Demon-Second; Cavalier-Third; etc)

Falling Sand Game

admin — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 20:21:11 +0000

What is it? How To Play It? Where To Get It?

I dont like it when I still love you

admin — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 18:46:04 +0000

I don’t like it when I still love you

I don’t like it

When I miss you

And you’re not there anymore

When I wake up

And you’re not there beside me

When I think of you

And yet I can’t hold you

And I see your happy face

When I write and stop

And I am thinking of you

When I drink coffee

And how you liked it too

When I go to the store

And buy foods together

When after cooking

And you will eat all the food

When I watch sports

And your favorite team wins

When I go to the bathroom

And I can smell your scent

When I need you

And yet I cant touch you

When I look at the roads

And your car is not there

When I try to think

And all I can think is you

When I sleep

And I dream of you

And how I miss you

I dont like it, yes

But I still love you

The 25 Wackiest Motorcycles Of All Time

admin — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 18:33:21 +0000

We have all seen motorcycles on the street that make us do a doubletake, but even I have to admit that if I saw a bike like some of these on the highway, my head would swivel right around like Linda Blair in the Exorcist and I might drive right off into the ditch! It seems that motorcycles uniquely lend themselves to rather extreme personalizations, so let’s sit back and check out 25 of the weirdest, wackiest, strangest motorcycles of all time. Vote on them in the comments and by all means suggest your alternatives. I’d love to see them!

1

Oh, ok… I admit it. I’m a trekkie… live long and prosper and all that stuff. But this TOS Enterprise bike has me lusting to put on my pointy ears, Klingon forehead ridges and a freshly starched TNG Captain’s uniform (later season) and go where no man or no one or whatever has gone before!

2

48 cylinders anyone? And you thought that a GoldWing, 1300 Voyager, CBX or even a Benelli Six was excessive! I would sure hate to have to fill this thing up at the local gas station at $4.50 a gallon!

3

Practice Safe Bike! I can come up with at least three or four dozen punchlines for this, but I think that since it’s a family Hub, I’ll leave it alone….

4

No, this wasn’t a sportbike that hit a wall. This 19 year old from Toronto took a Segway, put two wheels and an abbreviated motorcycle chassis and body on it, and ended up with a remarkably rideable “something!”

5

Not to be outdone by the Canuck kid, why don’t we just take one really humongous wheel and stick the engine and the rider right inside? It must have really been a great idea by the ninth or tenth beer.

6

Does this thing actually move? Is it rideable? Am I still sane?

7

“But mommy… Little Billy down the street just got a Big Wheel and I want one just like his… with a Hemi V8!”

8

Did somebody say “Big Wheel”? This is the perfect motocrosser for those times when you want to crush more sedans than Bigfoot.

9

Hey goofus! You wouldn’t have to have such a weird look on your face if you weren’t relying on those little training wheels!

10

All the readers who think that these maxi-motorcycles are built by guys who are making up for an insufficiency somewhere else shout “Teeny Weenie!” Oh… yeah… sorry… family Hub…

11

OK, this homemade tractor bike does qualify the rider for the Gold Medal in the Oversized Completely Stupid Motorcycle category!

12

Yes, someone actually did spend untold thousands of dollars to build a Kawasaki Ninja with triangular roller track things on it. If it worked it would certainly give you some serious traction! The tire contact patch on this contraption is likely 100 times larger than on your bike!

13

“Yeah… it’s a slow day here at Chrysler Research & Development. We can’t sell our SUVs and trucks because it seems no one in the head office figured that once gasoline went over $4 a gallon customers would run away screaming from big engines… so why don’t we pull a V-10 out of a Viper and stick it in a motorcycle! Nobody wants to buy cars or trucks with V-10s, so maybe they’ll buy the engine in a bike!”

14

Chrysler R&D? Who needs them! I’ll just take a wimpy little Boss Hoss, throw out that puny V8 and stick a Viper V-10 in it! Let’s see what the chicks down at the high school think of this ride!

15

This lady once rode a Honda 70 scooter to work and then her friends told her that bigger was better and she just didn’t know when to stop!

16

$24,349.00 for a new loaded Gold Wing? What do you think I’m made of money? Heck no, dude. I’ve got this old rusty Fargo pickup truck in the backyard, some old tractor parts and a welding torch and I’ll show you how I can slap together a tourer that will out Wing the Gold Wing and cost me… maybe… 20 bucks!

17

Watta is wronga witha you, are you somea kinda peasant? Get your lousya littlea MV Agusta outta my facea! I have a Ferrari V-8 ina my motorcyclea!

18

Ferrari motorcycles? I eat Ferrari motorcycles for breakfast! Let’s see them mess with a jet engine on a bike. I won’t just leave them in my dust, my afterburner will charbroil them to a nice brown crisp!

19

Double your pleasure, double your fun? Whatever you can say as to what those two ladies are doing on a motorcycle owned by such a charming, gracious gentleman, you do have to admit that the second rear wheel could be an inspired touch of genius. Not only does it act as a wheelie bar, but it increases the bike’s rubber contact patch by 50% without affecting cornering ability. Not a bad idea!

20

Do you think that this whole aerodynamics thing has been taken just a touch too far? This is about as close as you can get to a form-fitting motorcycle!

21

No, I’m not really sure as to how he steers this Morticiacycle either! The best I can figure is that those tiny handlebars have some sort of linkage that goes straight down to the base of that front end extension girder and that very tiny chromed rod acts on some sort of cam to turn the front wheel. I know one thing. I couldn’t ride it for more than 100 feet without getting gravel rash!

22

Yes, radial engines were a great idea in World War II aircraft, however in a 21st century chopper, they are a bit… er… strange.

23

“Honey, don’t worry. We can get rid of the gas-guzzling eight seater minivan and get a motorcycle that can still take us and our six kids everywhere we want to go!”

24

“And honey, we can get rid of that huge diesel pusher motor home too. To heck with enormous Winnebagos! We can enjoy all the comforts of home as we ride in the wind on the open road on our new motorhomecycle!”

25

“Goldurnit! I said I want an ATC that won’t sink down into the mud! Do I have to go out and make one myself???”

How To Wear Skinny Jeans

admin — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 18:28:47 +0000

How to wear skinny jeans is dependant upon several factors – you’re own sense of style, your fashion sense and, ultimately, your confidence. Much like any other form of tight pants, skinny jeans need to be worn with a little aplomb, yet you also need to look as though you’re just too casual for words.

Not an easy task then!

How To Wear Skinny Jeans

Actually, knowing how to wear skinny jeans is simpler than it sounds. A few good pointers in the right direction and before you know it, you’ll be strutting around like you’ve always had the ‘know how’. Or at least – that’s the intention.

The easiest way to work out how to wear tight jeans is to think of them as a pair of leggings or similar – yet bear in mind that they remain what they really are … a pair of jeans. And jeans can be dressed up (or down) depending on your mood, the event, the day and so on.

In a nutshell, skinny jeans can and will look good and your size and shape shouldn’t be a major issue. Of course it’s always easier to look good when you’re super slim. However, it’s also worth remembering that the average woman is anything but. So despite that little nugget of truth - a few extra curves shouldn’t rule out your ability to wear a great little fashion piece.

So let’s go girls – never mind Gok and all the other fashionistas – follow the frog!

Skinny Leg Jeans

They’re back!

Skinny leg jeans are basically a very tight pant – made from denim. Not to be confused with one of the latest trends on the market, the jeans legging – or ‘jeggings’ as they’re better known.

Tight fitting, from thigh down to ankle, usually manufactured from a stretch denim, they’re intended to fit and flatter most shapes, from the very skinny to plus size guys and girls. In fact some styles are so narrow at the bottom, they have a zipper at the ankle – and tend to be the super skinny style.

I have two pairs – one with zippers, one without. Both are equally comfortable, though both are different styles. And yes – skinny jeans come in different styles. There’s low rise jeans and high waist styles as well your normal ’sat on the waist’ type.

Interestingly, they’ve been around some fifty years or so. Originally designed way back in the fifties, they’ve changed little since the designs inception. The eighties saw a huge revival (I helped revive them … ) and teens and adults alike could be found clad in acid or stonewashed tight jeans.

Anyone who was … anyone wrapped their legs and nether regions in jeans that were tight enough to make a vicar cry. Those were the days. And how glorious to find that over twenty odd years later – they’re back in fashion.

Skinny jeans are worn by the famous and not so famous, the young and not so young and, judging on how long they’ve been around, they’re not going to go out of fashion anytime in the near future.

So pin back your eyes – now we’re getting to the science bit … how to wear skinny jeans.

Skinny Jeans For Women

Skinny jeans for women can be worn in several different ways. Of course – remember your age. I’m just over forty and still wear them but not quite like I did over twenty years ago. No midriff baring for e.g.

But age shouldn’t be a barrier. It’s your personal sense of style that’s important. And so, with that in mind, here’s a few style tips for wearing skinny jeans:

do try on more than one or two pairs. Some are badly made – they fit and look great on the leg but the upper part of the jeans fit terribley – be warned
if you have a thicker ankle than you’d like, buy the styles that have the zippers – much easier to climb in and out of
don’t, whatever you do, buy a size too small. I can’t say this enough: the correct fit is the best fit
if they’re too long, don’t worry. It’s ok to have a little gather at the ankle. More so if you’re intending to wear yours with ankle boots or similar
unless you’re blessed with long legs – avoid cropped or capri skinny jeans. All they will do is shorten your leg and make you appear shorter than you really are
don’t forget the fit around your butt – there will be a design that both fits your legs and your booty, so shop around. Don’t buy second best designs

Skinny Jeans Style

Skinny jeans style should be primarily based around colors, tops and accessories that suit you. If you’re long and lean, you can wear just about any combination of tops/jeans – for example:

layering
tight tops and shrugs
horizontal stripes
boho
streamlined
rock chick

If, like me, you’re not quite so slim as you were way back when, then stick to:

boho – tunic tops and ‘A’ lines
loose shirts
fitted jackets but only as an added outerwear accessory
bell sleeve tops

Equally, if you’re slender, any footwear will work, from flats to boots. Plus size ladies need to balance out the top and the bottom so avoid flats.

Instead, choose heels (they don’t need to be sky-scraper heels), ankle or knee high boots. Ugg boots are great, whatever your size – and something I wear regularly. Stick with the shorter kind if you are plus sized – avoid the longer length type.

Going back to the jeans themselves – any colour is great if you’re slim but plus sized women need to stick to the darker shades: black or dark blues and greys. The darker colors will slim you down, whilst lighter colors simply add width.

Quick Style Tips For Skinny Jeans

Some final quick tips to remember when buying and/or creating your look around skinny jeans:

dark colors work better on plus size women
if you’re still unsure and plus size, buy a straight leg jean rather than a skinny leg
don’t shorten your leg length if you’re petite or short legged – stay away from cropped jeans
remember to settle for colors that work best for you. Not everyone suits bright yellow for e.g. nor has the shape to carry it off
don’t forget your age! Teens, tweens and those in their twenties can get away with much more than those approaching (or passing!) the middle age barrier
well designed boots almost always work well with skinny jeans – don’t be afraid to experiment
but – avoid too much lacing or patent leather – you could end up looking more ‘dominatrix’ than fashionable!

Most of all – try to remember that following fashion doesn’t have to mean you’re a fashion victim. Wear what makes you feel comfortable – and that will lead to boosting your confidence.

Never make the mistake of going out – then spending your time in a corner feeling overdressed and self-conscious. Fashion is supposed to be fun, fresh and confidence giving … it’s not supposed to turn you into a wall flower!